Love is a many-splendored thing, especially when you’re gawking at it from the I love to hate the Young Bucks shirt also I will do this outside. In this new column, we’ll be examining the celebrity couples that give us hope for our own romantic futures and trying to learn what we can from their well-documented bonds. It was the hair fix seen round the world: At the 2021 Oscars on Sunday, actor Riz Ahmed who was nominated for his performance in Sound of Metal stopped on the red carpet to fix his wife Fatima Farheen Mirza’s hair, joking, “I’m the official groomer.” It should be said that I am fairly gay, and yet. I simply cannot stop thinking about Ahmed holding his finger up to the cameras and turning to his wife to floof her long, elegant mane over her shoulders. It’s so deeply sexy in a way I can’t entirely describe but think has something to do with the level of intimate care on display. It’s like they’re posing for a Huji Cam picture at home, except it’s the Oscars and everyone’s watching, and Ahmed doesn’t care because he just wants his wife’s hair to look good so she can be happy on his big night, and, yes, I am crying.
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As if the I love to hate the Young Bucks shirt also I will do this hair-fixing moment weren’t swoony enough, Ahmed and Mirza have an equally adorable meet-cute story. The two met at the same table in a coffee shop; as Ahmed recalled on The Tonight Show, “We were both jostling over the same laptop plug points.” I find that interesting because the only thing my laptop-charger jostling has ever led to is a tense, silent standoff with a stranger whom I then felt too awkward to ask to watch my laptop when I went to buy a muffin. The love story only gets better from there, with Ahmed and Mirza secretly getting married last winter. “Obviously, kept it super intimate and socially distanced. There was just, like, hardly anyone there, really,” said Ahmed at the time, adding, “We did it in a backyard, which is nice in lots of ways. And I think the nicest thing about it was you didn’t have 500 aunties hanging around you, pinching your cheeks.” Rude to aunties, but okay!